My Song is By Bruno Mars , It Will Rain.
& Oh Boy has it been raining. He Broke my heart but its still attached to him. why?
He Made me so happy in the darkest of times, he was a better friend than a boyfriend. No boy, ever before, has ever given a shit about me like he has. He was there for me when i was sick-Even though that’s like everyday, he’d be there when he could. He’s helped me mourn a lost friend, and he was there when i was diagnosed with endometriosis, just. everything. We’d had so many adventures and memories together, the awful terrible and the absolutely incredible. I’m still in denial that he left me. my self esteem has bubbled down into nothing too.I Dont Feel Worth anything anymore, i don’t feel beautiful. He Left me for another girl but he’s still here in my life. and i hate it. He is still my everything and i love him to pieces. Ive tried erasing him from my life, his number is out of my phone… but he wont leave me alone. he says he loves me and sometimes I’m afraid its all a lie… if he loved me, why would he go. Even though we did drive each other insane..we loved each other. and what kills me now, he acts as if he did nothing, he still even flirts with me and treats me with respect. but what we used to have, we don’t have anymore. Ive made so any sacrifices for him, Ive put him in front of my friends, my school work, and even my health. He made me happy for the moment. and now every time i see or hear from him, its painful. it was a waste of 6 months, but dammit i wish i could have it back, i was happy then. For the past two weeks Ive been constantly trying to forget about him.But Everything. Reminds me of him.the back of my notebook for french class says “I Love You” in purple crayon because of him…I’m just so overwhelmed, whenever i clean i always come across things that are or remind me of him and our relationship. He was such a huge part of my life, in fact he was my life. If i was happy, he was happy for me. i just wish he could see how much this has been such an emotional strain on me. I Miss him.& I Wish this could be more than a friendship.. all i know, that this end to this relationship, has been anything but a break. i need one so badly, but these strings he has attached to me, he just plays with my heart like a puppet. All I Want Is My Self Esteem, Self Confidence, And Happiness back. Of Course him too, but i doubt it’ll happen, even though he was the sweetest boy Ive had, hes gone. i just wish we could grow up, so he could be a man and i could get over this. Its going to take a long time to heal, at least broken hearts have a cure. No Matter what, its always time. “Time Will Heal” but they’ll always be a scar. so. of course this isn’t the only thing on my mind… but I’m not sure what else to say. i just.. don’t feel wanted. i wish this never happened.
