My Depression seems to be getting worse with the on going chronic pain. and ive had a flare up for the past 2 months. the first time in over a year i have the guts to tell anyone that ive been suicidal, they call me manipulative and mean. oh how i long to understood; or at least not to feel like /or to be told my ailments aren’t my own fault. I dont know why anyone would pretend to be like this. its not fun being sick, its not fun being in intense physichal and mental pain. i just dont understand why people would think im doing so. like just what the fuck.