For the past week and a half my ibs and fibro symptoms have been flaring up and I haven’t been to school and Its impossible to be comfortable. I haven’t gotten a break. I feel almost bed ridden, and I have started to occasionally think about suicide again. The suicide audiation haven’t been as bad as they used to be, but they’re coming back. So I’ve been trying my hardest to stay busy but it’s so difficult when I’m in this much pain. I’ve been trapped in the house. And trapped in my body. I just don’t know if I’m going about this the right way. Like I know coping strategies but I don’t think I am applying them correctly. But I’ve been a busy body trying to do so with gardening, knitting, homework, painting, Netflix and of course cuddling with my dog (and the continual doses if laxatives that haven’t done the trick yet)But I feel like its not enough. But I’m sick. And I’m tired but I know if I lay down my depression might worsen. I’m just so exhausted and emotionally and physically drained. I just want my life back.