Dealing with myself &

Lately Ive been a lot more active, going out more and getting my ass out of bed. and last night i was scared it was going to end. i had a pain flare up, and i just couldn’t do anything, i was so overwhelmed and oh my goodness. Ive been scared lately. really scared. but for other things besides my participation in my own life. I’m scared that special person is going to slip through my fingers and I’m scared of being near my dad, whom openly confessed his homophobia last night. and Im just so scared that no one will like me for who i am, and not my illness. because I’m just scared that IBS and Endo will take over my life again and leave me bed bound.Im Scared of Being Alone. Being scared, is such a stressful thing.

If You Guys Don’t Mind For The Next Couple Of Hours I’m Going to Impersonate Snorlax and store all the food i can until my nap time comes by.

*I’m So happy i’ve Gotten my appetite back, although not eating, as awful and empty i felt, seeing my hip bones from not being bloated all the time was a bit of a relief. I Felt a little better, eating nothing but small  portioned fruit all week. But it still hasn’t taken away the Endo/IBS pain. I think becoming vegan will be much easier now since the experience of this past week… but yeah, I’m still kind of afraid to eat- i don’t have an eating disorder you guys- because i don’t want my pain to flare up again. Even knocking all the food I’m sensitive out of my diet, anything i eat seems to upset my stomach. i just hope all this gets better soon. all I’m really sure of is that im so happy my appetite is back, i feel- normal-ish again. its an improvement.

Some people Need Motivation To Go To School

I Need Strength to get to school. I Missed My last Day Of Review, And My First Day Of Midterms Today And I Am So Overly Stressed.I Try So Hard To Push Myself To Get Places But My Endo Pain Slows Me Down And Makes it impossible for me to make progress. I’m Terrified. I Need To Pass, And I Need To Get through high school. I Just Want To Get this all over with and not stay in school longer than i need to. Because I Do Try. I Push Myself To Tears To get Ready In The Morning. I Guess that isn’t good enough.

But Tonight Ill Study My Ass Off And Will Go Tomorrow. And Will Try To Stay Late To Finish The Midterm i missed Today Because I Hate Being Behind In All Of My Work, School Is My Biggest Stressor Besides The Medical Complications. I Need Encouragement And Support,That Is All i Want.