Dealing with myself &

had one of those appointments today.

Except she met with my mom with half of the appointment. which isn’t really supposed to happen since I’m the patient. But they talked about how they’re going to get a team of 4-5 people together in January to discuss further treatment possibilities.

And She Talked with Me about the CT shooting. and what my reaction on that was; Considering locally our city has lost about 7 adolescents to suicide and violence related deaths in the past 2 years.

We Talked about how the media/society only cares if it affects the vast majority of people, and their safety as a whole, they don’t care about the individuals. Last Year A Student From My school was kidnapped and her body was found behind a strip mall. No one ever mentioned she was gone, besides some notices on some doors at school. but yet on the intercom they’d alert kids that someone is missing an ipod. Not a missing student.Another shot and killed. The Media Touched nothing. Yet Both were horrific tragedies.

Yet Media Tries to redefine the word tragedy. It has to be a massacre to be “awful”, “tragic” “horrific” blah blah blah. Tragedy is any death. no matter how big or small.

Is Happening Tomorrow. Well- today In About 8-9 hours. My Sister and Mom and I Are Going. I Have A Bit Of An Obsession with Charity things.

Why I’m Doing It; To Get out of the house, but also, Back in October 05-06? I Had A Tarsal Coalition at Shriners, and without the surgery i wouldn’t have been able to walk. The Doctors there said it was a miracle, how quickly i recovered the flexibility back into my foot, and how i didn’t need the proceeding surgery that is usually done for other patients. and without that, i wouldn’t  have been be able to do cross country this year. I Want To Give Back to The People That Have Been So Helpful To Me back in the Day.

The Dilemma; The Last Charity Walk i Did, Was The March of Dimes (Funding For Premature babies). Which was April 16th 2011. The Day My Old Friend Committed Suicide.

Tomorrow may be emotionally difficult for me, but I’m excited anyways.I’m Considering running it. and Hopefully, My Body Will Be Up For It.

its been difficult lately, and its been getting me thinking. Throughout all the deaths and suicides of our fellow classmates, why do we continue to be selfish and insensitive? People take so many things for granted and regret it once its gone. But even though we are just human, why don’t we bother to improve ourselves, for the sake of well being of ourselves AND others. If We are Deceased or not, judgement is still in full factor. Learn Some respect people, and maybe we’ll stop falling into holes like we are.

Within the past two years, My Home Town has lost 5 fellow beloved classmates. With Them, i am waiting for the world to be a more understanding, less discriminating place.

Today was my last day at my partial day program, and i hate the shrink. A Couple days ago he pulled me in for a meeting to check up how i was doing but integrated me on my friend’s death instead. & Today He Made me Realize How Hopeless I Really Was Instead of How i thought i was. He Told Me how My medical stuff was out of the question, and how keeping me alive was their greatest concern.My Medical issues have not only have they limited my mobility,but have made me depressed because i feel like they’re stripping me from my opportunity on a successful life.I’ve Been Trying So hard, through the depression, to keep my head up and work through my school work and a semi-positive outlook-With having Pain..Every.Single.Day.So Before you call out “we Don’t want You ending Up like Your friend”, Be More sensitive, Because Today, It’s his Anniversary. & I’ve Never Liked A Shrink.

I Want you to wash me away along with this emotional pain.

so dont tell me i didnt love him when he was alive. becuase i loved him alot more than you would ever know.