I Cant Eat Anything Without Getting sick. It Doesn’t Even Matter If I’m Allergic to it anymore. Anything i eat causes cramping and agitation.and as if Restricting all these Foods isn’t hard enough. I Hate Having IBS and Endometriosis, They Constantly Agitate Each Other.I’m Literally Going Insane. I hate Being An American & saying this- But I’m Starving.But Im Afriad of the Pain. I Really Am. & I’m Terrified Of This Becoming an Eating Disorder.I Dont Need anymore Problems*
“For the chronically ill, details are all. To cope with chronic illness means to routinely scan minute bodily processes. Attention is vigilantly focused, sometimes hour by hour, to the specifics of circumstances and events that could be potential sources of worsening. There is the daily quest for control of the known provoking agents. Enervating decisions must be made about when to initiate or terminate an activity, when to move from baseline medication to second-level drugs, and when to seek professional help. And all this occurs in the context of active lives that are filled with the same pressures, threats, vagaries, and exultations that make of normal living such a ‘blooming, buzzing confusion’ [James] Is it any wonder that exhaustion is one of the common shared experiences of chronic illness?”—Arthur Kleinman, The Illness Narratives (via shanghailil)
I Was Doing Wonderful, until 5th period hit. i really needed pain medication- i had a huge IBS/Endo Flare Up. Luckily for Me, my mom’s car broke down last week- its officially dead. So She Could Not Bring Me My Meds, nor take me home. & Now I Continue To Cramp and think that I’m dying, i realized I’m on my period today as well, i wouldn’t be so upset if it was a normal thing, but thanks to BC Ive been off it for a solid two years. add-back therapy is starting too suck. Well At Least I’m Out Of School, Today the Hallways Smelt like skunk sausage and weed.
i didn’t think today was going to be so difficult. but it was hell. my mind was in a whole different place and its slowly coming back.I Don’t think it’llbe back for long though. i Tried deep breathing,and distraction and i ended up having a semi break down in french class. Besides the physical pain, my stress has been over excessive lately. I’m going to take the rest of the day to do my homework and i try to stick to reality as long as i can-then get some sleep.Ive never been so unsettled in such a long time. Damn. I Need a Break.
As of 6 months into a relationship, I’m single. I’m not shocked of what he did, I’m Not Hurt. i expected it, it was just a waste of my life really, but. He became my best friend during it, i just lost my trust for him, but i do still love him. which is maybe the stupidest thing i could ever do right now. But. Im Just Excited to work on my personal health instead of relationships with whatever gender. I need time to love myself first.
Yeah. So Its been almost on a month since i got my first shot of lupon. & a week ago i lowered my birth control and added an extra pill. i don’t know what it is since I’m in a study at Boston’s Children Hospital. But ever since i started this new pill Ive had awful migraines. my head literally feels like its going to explode.Is There Anything i can do for this? because taking Excedrin did absolutely nothing. Help Me Before My Brain Scrambles Into A WWIII. :”c
i don’t know how to explain last night. all i really understand is that i lost something beautiful.
The best relationship Ive ever had ended. but i guess it was more of a mutual agreement, although i wish it never happened. He was always there for me, even if he didn’t exactly know how.We were best friends, we told each other everything. He was so sweet and made me so happy the 6 months we were together -except he had his flaws & of course i have mine. He says we’re only taking a break because we’re both being stressed out and every thing’s just been hurdling downwards. but the part that bothers me is that he still wants to continue talking to me, flattering and flirting - just everything that we had except without a name(friends with bens.). He told me he wants to be with me in the future,to be my husband, and that no one can replace me and the love we have. I Just Feel Used, Betrayed and confused. All i want to happen is to just move on from one another, Its too soon to be friends, and i feel like he just made things super awkward between us. I Cant Say That I’m Not hurt. but honestly i haven’t cried from it yet, i just feel empty.
i feel like the youngest old lady ever, my bones kill. i feel like i have arthritis maybe. and i just wish the positive effects of my lupron shots would kick in. i know. patience but Ive been on it for almost a month and I’m only experiencing the beautiful weight gain, bone brittleness, moody attitudes, breast growth and heat flashes. I’m just so exhausted, and my irons low too so my hair is falling out, - because of my Endo Diet and My family’s lifestyle its impossible to get ATON of iron in it with me being able to eat it. i feel male nourished. or something like that. Life’s been so exhausting lately.
Its Been Such a Rough week. i cant even explain it but i feel like my family is just falling apart. But Ive been able to go to school everyday, not the full day but its a start. Its Been a rougher week not being able to be on tumblr. hopefully ill be able visit more often.
Even Avoiding My Allergens, i cant seem to get away from the pain. I Think Its Food in general. Whatever i eat my digestive system seems to malfunction and break down. i think i should just stop eating all together.except when i don’t eat for a period of time, my abdomen kills (which is the exact thing that happens when i do eat). this is so exhausting. i don’t even know how to deal with this. I’m so sick of all of the pain. this is so unbelievable, with all my problems, I’m afraid ill end up developing an eating disorder on top of all of it.
i hate to be impatient but i really want the lupron to kick in. i got it only a week ago so that’ll be another 3 weeks of waiting. I’m in so much pain right now and its such a strain on my body as a whole. i want to function properly for once. This is so frustrating. i just want it all to stop.